


This is Life

by rurambles



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Coming Out, Hair Kink, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:13:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rurambles/pseuds/rurambles
Summary: Of all of the things he suspected was going to happen today, this did not rank. He did not suspect the conversation with his parents. He did not suspect he would go to the bar. He did not suspect he would be picked up by the most beautiful man he has ever seen. He did not suspect that he would go home with the man, love touching him, and then run away from him.And, to top it all off, as Kurogane holds his shoes in the middle of the apartment building hallway— an extremely familiar hallway, and oh gods was he so in his own head earlier he didn’t recognize it— he did not expect the man he just tried to run away from to be his new neighbor.
Relationships: Fay D. Fluorite/Kurogane
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	This is Life

**Author's Note:**

> Walks into fandom tens years late, y'all got a discord or something.

oOo

The bar is dark and the alcohol burns on the way down and that’s what you want when you’re trying to forget. Kurogane downs the rest of his glass and signals to the bartender for another. It was a shit day and while he doesn’t usually drink, let alone drink this much— let alone drink this much by himself— today he’s making a special case. He could have called Yuuko so he didn’t seem so pathetic but then he ran the risk of her wanting to _talk_ or, even worse, her wanting to _talk about his feelings_. So instead he’s in this run down bar too far from home drinking alcohol that’s too expensive for what this place is. 

“Hyuu~” the person next to him croons, “someone is going through them quickly! Bad day, Mr. Black?” 

“Don’t call me that!” he snaps at the man without looking at him and takes another sip of his drink. It’s no one’s business how much he drinks right now, he does not have to answer to some strange person making strange sounds in a bar when all he wants to do is disappear into the crowd.

The man rests his chin on his hand and gives Kurogane a once over, “Well I can’t call you anything else if you don’t give me your name.” 

Kurogane isn’t dumb, he can tell the man is trying to flirt with him but he is not interested and today is not the time. He got terrible news earlier and he doesn’t need to put up with some weird man who doesn’t have any sense of common decency. 

“I don’t need to tell you anything” he growls back. 

“You sound just like a big puppy!” he coos, “Maybe that’s what I’ll call you instead. Big Puppy?” 

He doesn’t understand how this man can sound so delighted in teasing him. Kurogane is absolutely positive he is the picture of leave me alone but either he isn’t giving off strong enough vibes or the man is just blind. 

“Are you a fucking idiot?” 

Kurogane whips around to look at him for the first time and god he wishes he didn’t because the other man is beautiful and this is not why he’s here. The man smiles at the insult and his impossibly blue eyes sparkle and Kurogane can feel his breath catch and his pulse quicken and everything is going far too fast and far too slow simultaneously. 

“No, I’m rather quite smart. I have a PhD and everything.” 

He looks back to his drink, “There's no way a school gave an idiot like you a degree.” 

“Hmm,” the man leans back and looks at the ceiling like he’s pretending to think about a difficult problem, “it’s possible I fooled them a bit. But to get a PhD you only need to be really good at one thing.”

This feels like a trap and he knows he’s walking right into it. “What are you really good at then?” 

The blond lights up for a split second then lowers his eyes, “Chemistry.”

Kurogane blushes into his glass. He knew he was being set up for a joke. Some pretty man was coming on to him with a dumb pick up line on a day where he just wants to drown his sorrows in a glass and forget about what happened earlier. 

“I was never good at Chemistry,” he says after downing his drink. It’s the nicest way he can think of to turn the man down and honestly he’s proud of himself for being that considerate towards a literal stranger. Friends have gotten worse treatment. 

But of course his life is never that easy and he was not to be deterred, “I’m good enough for both of us.” 

The man signals the bartender to bring them both another round. 

They drink in silence for a bit but Kurogane can feel those blue eyes staring at him. He tries his hardest not to look at him, because maybe if he ignores him long enough he’ll get the hint and go away. Maybe if he ignores him long enough he’ll realize that he’s terrible company and no fun to be around. Maybe if he ignores him long enough, he won’t think about just how pretty the man next to him really is. 

But when his willpower finally gives out and he looks over the man gives him a secretive smile, “Do you want to come home with me tonight?” 

And fuck, he really does. They haven’t even exchanged names and he’s seriously considering going home with this man right now just to say fuck you to the day he’s had. No, that’s not true. He’s seriously considering going home with this man because he’s attractive and looking at him like he wants to eat him up. 

He downs the rest of his drink, licks his lips, and notices as the blond’s eyes follow his tongue, “Yeah, let’s go.” 

— 

Kurogane doesn’t think as the man pays both of their tabs. He doesn’t think when the man lightly grabs his bicep to lead him out of the bar but drops it when they’re outside. He doesn’t think when his feet seem to wordless follow the man to his apartment building and he especially doesn’t think when that building is extremely close to his own. 

They don’t talk or touch on the walk over. It’s a long and quiet ten minutes and usually that would be enough time for Kurogane to get his head on straight and realize what he’s doing is wrong and that he doesn’t actually want to go home with this gorgeous stranger but his mind is blank the entire time. He doesn’t even mind when the other man starts to quietly hum to break the silence. It’s not a tune he recognizes but he doesn’t listen to much music. 

He almost reaches for his own keys before the man unlocks the door and lets him in. The apartment is cold, colder than outside was at least. He automatically removes his shoes at the door and then they simply stare at each other like they’re unsure what the next step is.

But now that he has a moment to breath and look at him, now that everything isn’t moving too quickly and too slowly at the same time, he can see that the man is at least a head shorter than him, that in the moonlight of his apartment his blond hairs glows golden, that his ears are pierced with small red studs that Kurogane overwhelmingly wants to put in his mouth. He groans and leans heavily against the front door. 

“Kurogane,” he puts his hands on the man’s hips and pulls him closer, “that’s my name.”

He gets another blinding smile that makes blue eyes sparkle, “No, that’s not cute enough. How about Kuro-pup?”

“I’m not a dog, you can’t rename me!” he snaps and wants to pull away but there’s a hand on his cheek and he turns to nuzzle into it instead, it’s definitely not dog-like. At such a close proximity he can see that all of this man’s fingertips are scarred and wonders for a second if maybe he’s a terribly inept chemist. 

“I’m Fai.”

Kurogane turns his face away from the hand on his cheek and leans forward to kiss the man, to kiss Fai. At their lips first contact he groans, Fai tastes like the whiskey they were just drinking and artificially flavored lip gloss and Kurogane doesn’t know how he missed that Fai was wearing it. It makes his lips soft and slick and gods, he wants to keep kissing him.

He trails one of his hands up Fai’s side, brushes his cheek, and tangles it in his hair. This time they both moan. Kurogane wonders if everything about him is soft, the last time he kissed a man, the one other time he kissed a man, there had been hard angles and rough skin, but this felt so good, felt so right. He instinctually tightens the grip in Fai’s hair and Fai moans louder into the kiss. Testing, he gave it a light tug and Fai whimpers.

He pulls Fai back by his hair so their lips were only a fraction apart, “You like having your hair pulled.” It was a statement, not a question. As he spoke their lips brush and Fai’s eyes flutter closed as he nods.

“Fuck,” Kurogane whispers, his voice sounding broken even though all they had done was make out against the front door, “What else? What else do you like?” 

Fai looks up at him with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Take me to bed and find out.”

Kurogane didn’t need to be told twice. He lifts Fai easily by his thighs, the man weighs almost nothing, and carries him to the bedroom like he owns the place.

When Fai is deposited onto the bed Kurogane gets another look at those red earrings and is again hit with the urge to put them in his mouth, only this time he doesn’t stop himself. He crawls on top of the other man, licks the shell of his ear, and sucks the earlobe into his mouth. It doesn’t taste good per se but it makes Fai gasp and writhe. He scrapes his teeth on his earlobe, making sure not to catch the earring, causing Fai to jolt and clutch at his arm.

Fai grabs his cheek to pull him away from his ear and kiss him again but Kurogane doesn’t stay at his mouth for long even when he whines and complains, instead choosing to trail open mouth kisses down his neck trying to find his most sensitive spots. 

And he’s good at it. As soon as Kurogane touches a spot on his neck that gets a slightly different reaction he stays there— kisses it, sucks it, licks it, bites it— like he’s mapping Fai’s neck with his mouth.

“Touch me, touch me, please,” Fai pleads breathily as Kurogane keeps his attention on his partner’s neck. They are both too aware of the fact they’re still fully dressed and save for the occasional light grinding before Kurogane pulls away, anything below the shoulders was going far too neglected. 

Kurogane sits back on Fai’s thighs and simply looks at him. He’s beautiful. His long hair was messy, lips were red and plump, lip gloss smeared, neck red with freshly forming love bites and under Kurogane’s gaze a faint blush was appearing on his cheeks. He looks thoroughly debauched for someone who hasn’t been touched yet, for someone begging to be touched. 

With a patience he didn’t know he had, Kurogane slowly unbuttons Fai’s shirt. 

“No, no, Kuro-tan,” he whines, “don't do the same thing to my chest. Touch me, _please_.” 

Fai’s hands go to his own belt to try and strip himself faster. Kurogane lets him, he can only push his pants down to his hips but he still gasps his relief when his erection is freed. 

Kurogane doesn’t look at it, instead he pinches one of Fai’s nipples for the dumb nickname and takes the other in his mouth.

“Fuck.” Fai strokes himself twice before Kurogane can push his hand aside.

“No.”

“But Kuro-pu” he whines and arches his back.

Kurogane threads his fingers through Fai’s hair and pulls his head back so they’e looking each other in the eye. Whatever Kurogane is going to say is cut off by the loud hitch in Fai’s breath and the fact he sees Fai’s eyes dilate more because gods he didn’t know he could get more attractive. He didn’t need to know that. 

Any resolve he had of extending this was gone. He lets the silky hair slip through his fingers. Fai lets out a breath and Kurogane doesn’t know what it was held for but he doesn’t have the time to think about it because he’s shifting down the blond’s long legs, and how didn’t he realize how long they were before, and he takes as much of Fai’s dripping erection in his mouth as he can. 

For a brief moment Kurogane thinks about the one other man he had kissed, the one other lover he had, who once teased him for his supposed oral fixation and need to please. He almost scowls but Fai’s loud moan brings him back to the present.

Fai feels heavy against his tongue and he’s surprisingly thick for such a lithe frame. Kurogane suppresses a moan of his own at the thought of what Fai could do with this and Fai must have felt some of the vibrations as his hips twitch under the feeling.

He drags his tongue along the underside and loves how Fai shudders beneath him. He sucks lazily on the head and let Fai buck into his mouth. He fists the base of Fai’s cock and strokes in rhythm to his bobbing until Fai is slapping his shoulder trying to tell him that he is going to come and even then he doesn’t stop until he feels the hot liquid hit the back of his throat.

Coughing is not the most graceful end but Fai is not in any state to complain according to the lazy blissed out smile on his face. Kurogane looks at the beautiful man underneath him, and in that moment… he panics. 

—  
  
Of all of the things he suspected was going to happen today, this did not rank. He did not suspect the conversation with his parents. He did not suspect he would go to the bar. He did not suspect he would be picked up by the most beautiful man he has ever seen. He did not suspect that he would go home with the man, love touching him, and then run away from him.

And, to top it all off, as Kurogane holds his shoes in the middle of the apartment building hallway— an extremely familiar hallway, and oh gods was he so in his own head earlier he didn’t recognize it— he did not expect the man he just tried to run away from to be his new neighbor. 

oOo

Yuuko is a witch and isn’t to be trifled with. So when she sits down across from him with her cat-got-the-canary grin, he runs through the last few days and wonders how he could have possibly messed with whatever she was scheming. He deems himself free and clear, decides that in the moment she sat down she could not have possibly messed with his tea, and takes a sip, waiting for whatever bullshit she’s going to throw at him.

“So how are your parents?” she grins at him while stirring her coffee, the spoon clanks noisily against the cup. He’s sure she does that because she knows it irritates him. 

“Fine,” he grunts. He knows that if he ignores her there are _consequences_. 

“I spoke to your mother a few days ago,” she says after a few moments of silence.

He cuts her off, “No you didn’t.” 

“Fiiine,” she sighs dramatically and leans back in her chair. Kurogane notices how inappropriate her low-cut outfit is but knows better than to comment on it, “But I know you talked to them and then you sulked for days. You could tell me, I could make you tell me, or I could use some sources and find out.” She ticks off his options on her fingers.

Yuuko is a witch and isn’t to be trifled with, he reminds himself. 

He tightens the grip on his mug, “My mother asked when I was getting married. She wants grandchildren.”

He looks Yuuko in the eye because anything less would be admitting weakness and he hates the pity and sadness he sees there. He does not want that from her. Hell, he does not want anything from her but he would much rather she make his life a living nightmare than she look at him like that. 

“Did you tell her you were more likely to get a PhD than marry your girlfriend who broke up with you two months ago?” 

“What did you just say?”

Yuuko is a witch and isn’t to be trifled with, but the PhD comment makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end because she should not know anything about that. He wills his body to relax lest Yuuko smell blood in the water like the shark she is but he’s already thinking about Fai and pulling his hair and the sounds he makes and the heat currently pooling in his stomach and—

“What? Did you think I didn’t know? About your girlfriend?” She’s grinning at him and he knows she knows about his one-night-stand. 

He grunts and drinks more tea. He doesn’t want to be here and he doesn’t want to be at home where he lives next door. He idly wonders how quickly he can move out.

The last few days had been hell. Kurogane had taken to sneaking in and out of his apartment because he didn’t want Fai to know that he lived next door and he didn’t want to explain to his neighbor why he ran. He wasn’t particularly good at being a ninja, especially since he enjoyed being outside and going on jogs and sometimes other neighbors wanted to stop and talk. 

Kurogane is lost in his thoughts when he hears Yuuko get up and greet someone. 

“You made it. Flourite-sensei, won’t you meet Kurogane-sensei.”

“Nice to meet…” the words die on his lips as he looks up and meets familiar blue eyes. 

Fai smiles at him, the mischievous one he had seen before, “Nice to meet you too. Yuuko-sensei tells me that we’re neighbors. She found me that apartment.” 

Kurogane can hear the amusement in his voice. He wants to yell at one or both of them but all he can manage to get out is “oh”. They graciously ignore his blushing but he can see them grinning at each other like old friends. He hopes they are not old friends. 

Yuuko is a witch and isn’t to be trifled with. 

oOo

Fai, of course, is the new Chemistry teacher, and the students are taken with him instantly. They don’t know what to make of him when he enters the room via the window with Yuuko on his heels but after an explosive demonstration he wins them all over. All except Kurogane who is trying his hardest to avoid the new teacher. Who is also his neighbor. The witch definitely set this up. Fuck.

To make matters worse, Yuuko and Fai look like they’re friends. He sees them laughing together and it sets off internal alarm bells because he’s positive that they are laughing about him. This must be what awkward teenagers feel like, he thinks, and it must be punishment for never going through this as a child. Or maybe it’s punishment for not telling his mother that his girlfriend broke up with him a while ago and no he’s not going to get married any time soon. 

Either way, he’s going to be haunted by the sound of Fai and Yuuko laughing in the staff break room. 

Kurogane walks into his office and is greeted by Fai sitting in his chair. During his demonstration Fai pulled his hair into a high ponytail and now Kurogane can see his red earrings but this time he’s more distracted by the black-rimmed glasses that sit on the tip of his nose. No, he thinks, he’s going to be haunted by this instead. Maybe Fai is the real witch. Wizard, perhaps. 

“Kuro-rin-sensei,” he smiles, “I wondered when you were going to get here. I got bored and started doing paperwork! That’s how bored I was, paperwork!” He tosses the forms he was filling out on to Kurogane’s desk. 

“Don’t call me that! And what are you doing here!” 

“I work here now!” 

“You don’t work in my office.”

“Oooh~,” he spins in Kurogane’s chair, “I wanted to talk to you since last time you ran away from me.” 

Kurogane stares at him and he’s not sure if he means the break room where he up and walked away after Yuuko pretended to introduce them or if he meant, well… Fai, for once, seems to get uncomfortable under the gaze and fiddles with the end of his ponytail and Kurogane finds his attention drawn there.

“Why did you leave?” The anxiety in his voice surprises both of them. Fai clears his throat and tries again, “Were you not having a good time?” 

“Do you ever tell the truth?” That’s not what he meant to say. He meant to say that he didn’t like how Fai closed himself off the second he showed something real or vulnerable. He meant to say that the anxiety was fine.

Fai’s eyes sharpen, “Do you want to tell _me_ the truth?” 

He closes the door to his office and leans against it.

“It was a mistake all right?” he yells, his voice was too loud, “I’m not— we shouldn’t—“ he stops and starts and stops again but there’s no end to the sentence. 

Fai doesn’t say anything but Kurogane can tell that he doesn’t believe him. It must be easy to disregard his words when his eyes are so heavy with something that Kurogane does not know how to name. Lust? Appreciation? 

Fai tucks a stray hair behind his ear. 

“Don’t do that.” Kurogane whispers to the room, he only has so much self control and while he’s sure that it was an unconscious gesture he’s also sure it brings the room’s temperature up a few degrees. 

He gathers his paperwork from the desk and takes the two steps he needs to be in Kurogane’s space. “If you want me to leave you need to get out of the doorway,” he whispers back.

They’re standing too close together. Kurogane notices for the first time that Fai is wearing a turtleneck and he wonders if it is to cover the marks that he left. Fai places a hand over Kurogane’s rapidly beating heart and stands on his toes to lightly, so lightly, place a barely there kiss on his cheek. 

“You need to move.”

His lips brush against his cheek as he speaks and Kurogane needs to get away but he can’t open the door with Fai pressing against him but he doesn’t know if he wants to move either. He cups the back of Fai’s head, his hair is as soft as he remembers and as the other man leans into the touch Kurogane remembers that he really shouldn’t be doing this. 

So he tugs Fai’s ponytail hard enough to make him take a step back.

And Fai whimpers softly as all his paperwork falls to the floor. 

Kurogane turns to run from his own office but not before hearing a quiet “you give off some very mixed signals.” 

oOo

The students don’t dare complain when he runs them ragged over the next few days but Yuuko actually does something like her job and sends him home for the day after she catches another student puking in a bush.

He grumbles and stomps around but in the end makes his way home. It helps knowing that class is still in session so there’s no chance of running into his neighbor. 

Once home Kurogane doesn’t know what to do. What does he usually do when he’s home? He can’t remember. For a moment his temper flares and he even considers trashing the place before he works through his breathing exercises. The fact he would be the one stuck cleaning everything up help squash the impulse too. 

Never before had he been sent home over something like this. Once he had shown up with a cold and Yuuko sent him home, once he showed up on his birthday and she refused to let him in the building, and one very odd time he showed up on _her_ birthday without gift in hand and she refused to let him teach for two days until he gave in and bought her a bottle of sake. But this time he felt guilty for taking his frustrations out on the children. Overall they were good kids who didn’t deserve his rage. Especially not this type of rage.

Luckily he has the entire weekend to get his head on straight. Maybe if he was different person he would laugh at the choice of words. 

But now he had an entire weekend to do… what? 

In a matter of hours he caught up on the backlog of manga he had waiting, he was buying them and not reading them, putting them aside for when he had more time. Cooking and eating dinner didn’t take much time. There was no way he was going to be able to fill two more days without leaving the apartment and somehow running into his blond neighbor. 

While bringing his plate back into the kitchen he sees a paper that had been stuffed under his door. He knows who it is from without looking and he tries his hardest to ignore it. His resolve to ignore it lasts all of an hour, the entire time it takes to clean his kitchen.

The note simply reads _Have dinner with me tomorrow. Just to talk._

He won’t be doing that. 

—

Fai is pleasantly surprised when he hears the knock on his door. He was sure that his surly neighbor was not going to accept his invitation.  
“Your note was shit,” he says by way of greeting, “it didn’t even have a time on it.”

He breaks out into a smile, “Well if you were early I could just send you home. But you’re not. Come in.”

Kurogane stands awkwardly in the doorway and tries not to think about what was happening last time they were standing there together but Fai has mercy on him and lead him to the small kitchen table. 

Fai’s apartment is a mirror image of Kurogane’s so it is easy to navigate but the easiness of it adds to how uncomfortable he is. 

“There are forks on your table.”

“You don’t eat Italian food with chopsticks. Besides, I’m no good at them and I don’t need to embarrass myself.” Fai sets two plates on the table, “It’s nothing too fancy, baked ziti, comfort food.”

Kurogane looks at the cheesy monstrosity in front of him, “I can’t eat this. I’m lactose intolerant.” 

Fai’s face falls for a split second but he puts a smile back on quickly, “Guess I embarrassed myself anyway, huh Kuro-tan? How about this, I can’t stand raw fish, so next time you invite me over and have sushi and I’ll watch you eat instead.” 

Kurogane snorts and Fai lets out a small breath, the dinner doesn’t seem too ruined even if he almost poisoned his guest. 

Out of habit, or perhaps nervousness, he tucks a stray hair behind his ear and watches his dinner partner watch him. 

“You like my hair because it’s exotic. There aren’t really any natural blonds around here.” 

“What? Who cares that it’s yellow. Don’t tell me why I like things.”

“Huh?” he squints across the table at Kurogane (and for the first time Kurogane wonders just how much he needs the glasses he only seems to wear at school), “You like it because…” 

Kurogane looks at the food in front of him and fiddles with the fork. He’s not some blushing virgin but he’s unsure what to say. “It’s… soft. You like it.” 

He glances up and sees Fai chewing on his bottom lip. He can see the wheels turning and the internal debate waging, he can also see the second that Fai loses his inner battle because he stands suddenly and is in Kurogane’s lap before either of them can stop him. This is not how either of them thought the night was going to go (or maybe they did, or maybe they hoped), but neither of them was going to stop it now. 

“You like the sounds I make,” he whispers too close to Kurogane’s ear as he straddles his lap and threads one hand into his short hair. 

Kurogane lets out a soft groan and nods but keeps his hands at his sides. This is not what they said was going to happen tonight but from this position it seemed inevitable. Fai moves the hand out of his hair and traces his lips with two fingers. But it only lasts a moment because Kurogane opens his mouth and takes them into his mouth. He can’t eat the food anyway. 

Fai buries his face into Kurogane’s neck and slowly pumps his fingers in and out while they lewdly get sucked on. 

“Please let me blow you,” he rasps into his neck, it has only been a moment since he crossed the table, he can’t believe he has been reduced to begging so soon, “I didn’t get to last time. You can pull my hair while I do.” 

That gets a deep moan and a hand on Fai’s hip pulling them closer so they could grind together for a little bit of relief. 

“You didn’t let me touch you last time. I wanted to but you left. I bet— I bet you like that.” Fai bit hard on his neck as he tried to rub closer. His fingers still but Kurogane was keeps sucking on them and Fai loves the feeling of his tongue. “You like… serving me. You’d do whatever I want and get nothing in return and be happy that I was satisfied. Isn’t that right?” he pants. 

Fai doesn’t realize he’s still talking. He’s busy concentrating on getting as much friction as he can between too many layers of clothing but then Kurogane whines around his fingers—actually whines—and bucks his hips and Fai has to take a moment to rewind what he just said. 

“Oh fuck,” he mumbles and pulls his fingers out of Kurogane’s mouth. He trails after them. “Oh fuck,” he says again as he undoes both their pants and takes both of them in his hands.

“I’m an adult man, I can come at my dinner table but I refuse to do it in my pants.”

And finally they’e kissing. It’s as good as he remembers. Kurogane’s lips are full and seems to know just how to move against his own to get the best reaction. He knows when to open his mouth just a bit more, when to tease with his tongue, when to bite his lips. If Fai didn’t know better he wouldn’t believe this was only the second time they kissed.

Then Kurogane decides he can make the whole thing better. Or he remembers that his hands are hanging limply by his sides and if he is here and doing this he might as well touch too. One of his hands joins Fai’s between them and they both groan at the extra contact, grinding and bucking into his larger hand. The other naturally tangles itself into Fai’s hair, pulling their mouths closer and pulling on it gently to elicit the sounds he has quickly come to like too much. 

When Fai comes first Kurogane’s hand slows to a stop between them but Fai pushes him on until he finishes as well.

The silence that falls as they pant into each other’s mouths is awkward.

“Don’t run away,” Fai says suddenly, then laughs, “usually I’m the one running. Just, clean up and finish dinner with me. I’ll warm it up.” 

Kurogane nods but can’t meet his eye. It’s a victory nonetheless and Fai removes himself from his lap to wash up in the kitchen before reheating the food, leaving his guest to the privacy of the bathroom. 

—

When Kurogane returns to the table, pants zipped up and hands washed, there’s a salad sitting where the cheese-disaster once was. He glances between the plate and Fai, who is already sitting and eating his own meal. 

“I’m not actually trying to poison you. That’s the only other thing I had.” 

Kurogane sits and eats a few bites. He can eat a silent meal and then leave to the safety of his own apartment, even if it is only a wall away. 

“So you’re in the closet,” Fai says conversationally, like one would say, oh it’s been cold lately. 

“No! I’m not—“ but he can’t finish the sentence, he scowls into the salad instead. 

“The country isn’t as homophobic as it used to be.”

Gods, he can’t believe he’s having this conversation right now. “My parents. Want me to have children. I want them to be proud.”

Fai seems to chew that over for a bit. “I don’t know anything about making parents proud,” he smiles and Kurogane has seen it enough to know it’s fake, “but don’t they want you happy?” 

Kurogane doesn’t look up from his plate. His parents are good people. The best people he knows, really. If he told them that he doesn’t want to get married, or that he doesn’t want to get married to a woman, he’s sure that they would accept him. His mother would probably apologize for pushing him and his father would probably tease him and then they’d ask if he had anyone in his life. But knowing that they most likely wouldn’t be disappointed in him and sitting down and having the conversation with them are two different things. 

“So did your service kink grow out of your desire to not disappoint your parents?” Kurogane drops the fork and glares at him. Fai claps his hands together, “Good! You’re mad at me, all back to normal then.”

oOo

Sunday morning he finds himself on his parents doorstep. His mother opens the door before he can knock. 

“Dear, you’ve been standing there for at leave five minutes, are you okay?” he ushers him inside. 

He stiffly walks inside and lets his mother lead him to the kitchen. They don’t speak until they both have a cup of tea in hand. 

“Now what’s wrong?” 

“I don’t think I’m going to get married,” he says finally.

His mother frowns, “Well don’t say that, you—“

“No, you don’t understand.” He cuts her off. And then he stops. 

She sips her tea in silence waiting for her son to speak. He’s white-knuckling the mug so whatever he is trying to get out is difficult and her pushing is not going to help. He is volatile at the worst of times so its best to let him work through his thoughts. 

“I… met someone.” He takes a long sip of tea. “A man.”

Kurogane finally makes eye contact with his mother. She can see his combativeness but she smiles warmly at him.

“Will I get to meet the man my son likes so much?” 

He blushes into his cup, the tips of his ears turn red in a way that never happened when she asked about girlfriends in the past. “It’s new. You’re not upset?” 

“Of course not,” she reaches across the table to cover his hand with hers, “we only want you to be happy. What’s his name?” 

“I don’t want to talk about him. It’s… new,” he mumbles, trying to will his face back to its normal color. 

For the first time since he stepped into the house he takes a deep breath. And then another. And another. He knows that he was afraid, even if the idea of being afraid of his mother is preposterous, but even faced with her acceptance he is still unsure. He fiddles with the mug in his hands. 

“It really doesn’t bother you? That I, you know?”

She shakes her head and smiles serenely at him, “I just didn’t want you to be alone. You would do better with lively people in your life.”

“Who would do better?” 

Kurogane turns around sharply and sees his father turn the corner into the kitchen. His face lights up when he sees his son and Kurogane is embarrassed by the sheer affection his parents show him and each other. 

“Our son,” she laughs at her husband’s antics, “he does better with people even if he thinks he doesn’t like them.”

His father pulls the mug from his son’s hands and takes a long sip, “That’s why he should—“ 

Kurogane slams his hands on the table, he doesn’t want to hear about how he should get married soon. “I’m gay.” He can hear his heart pounding in his chest as he looks at his father.

His cheerful expression doesn’t change, “—find a man then to be with! Congratulations son on coming to term with yourself. We’re proud of you.” He slaps his son on the back and he’s knocked over by the force of it, or maybe the shock.

“Now how long are you staying? Do you want lunch?” 

“I think I need to go home.” His head is spinning and he really wants to process the events of the day.

oOo

By the time he gets home his mind is a constant stream of what the fuck did I just do.

He doesn’t realize he’s knocking on his neighbor’s door until shiny blue eyes are looking up at him. 

“Kuro-tan! What are you doing here?” 

He’s wearing glasses again. Kurogane can’t seem to form any other coherent thought. “Sorry.” he stiffly turns away.

Fai reaches out and grabs his arm to pull him inside. “What happened?” 

“I came out to my parents? I don’t even know anything about you.” The thoughts are disjointed. He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, suddenly he’s so tired. 

“You know I have a PhD in Chemistry and teach at your school and live next door and that I don’t like raw fish,” he points out unhelpfully, “and that I’m proud of you. Can I hug you?” 

He ignores the question. “Do you want to go on a date or something? I’m going to be terrible at it.”

Fai laughs. “How can I say no to that?” 


End file.
